"You Look So GOOD!!!"
I’ve been getting that compliment a lot lately. At least once a week, someone will come up to me (who knows me and knows how big I had been) and says, “Girl, you look so GOOD!”
It’s a great feeling to hear something that nice said about myself. But I have to tell you that a few weeks ago, it was difficult for me to accept such a compliment. I would combat it with something like, “Thanks, but I have A LOT MORE to lose.”
Why do I do that? I’ll tell you why…
I still had low confidence/self-esteem.
At my highest weight (221 pounds), I was happier with myself than I had been in a very long time. I finally learned to accept myself for who I was, fat and all. The thing is, other than feeling miserable physically, I was pretty happy with myself.
But I couldn’t sleep. I woke up aching from head to toe. My joints hurt. All because I was eating myself into an oblivion.
As much as I was happy with myself, I was miserable because I still didn’t feel very confident with myself. I knew how overweight I was, but I felt like I was too far gone to lose weight again. I kept telling myself–and others–that I couldn’t do it any more, that I’d gained too much and gone too far to turn around and go back the other way.
I was wrong.
I needed to believe in myself again.
The truth was I didn’t want to lose weight. I was happy eating ungodly amounts of food. Food didn’t expect anything from me, and it certainly didn’t ask anything of me. It tasted good. It soothed me. So I continued eating.
I didn’t believe in myself enough to believe that I was strong enough to lose weight again. I lied to myself and believed that all will power was lost forever. I had all the will power I ever needed. I just didn’t want to apply it.
When I finally decided to try to lose weight and get healthy again, I knew I needed to do it for me. This couldn’t be about looking good for my husband. It couldn’t be about being a better mom to my kids. This time, my losing weight needed to be all about me–feeling better, looking better, loving myself enough to live healthy.
Now I smile and say, “Thank you!”
Now, months later, I am still learning to smile and accept these nice compliments with a gracious, “Thank you!” I take a second to breathe and soak in every word. And so should you.
Tags: diet, diet blog, fatblog, fatblogger, fatblogging, healthy weight loss, lose weight, weight, weight loss, weight loss blog, Weight WatchersRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Be Inspired
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